Where I Wait
"Where I Wait" was released by Null + Void, a project by Kurt Uenala, on the album called Cryosleep. The song features Dave Gahan on vocals.
"I wrote it with Dave in mind. He wrote the melody and lyrics soon after he was sick, which I think influenced the reflective tone." -Kurt Uenala1
Lyrics
Each one a message and insight to some degree
When I wake up, my eyes are open
I can see I can hear you
All around me I feel free
There is comfort here, where I wait for you
There is sunlight shining through
There is comfort here, where I wait for you
There is sunlight shining through
Why am I nervous
My hands they're shaking my heart it beats
Your specter haunts me and taunts me
I can't breathe
When I wake up, my eyes are open
I can see, I can feel you
All around me, I can't breathe
There is comfort here, where I wait for you
There is sunlight shining through
There is comfort here, where I wait for you
There is sunlight shining through
It movin' up
Your words were spoken, carefully chosen for me
Each one a message and insight to some degree
When I wake up, my eyes are open
I can see I can hear you
All around me I feel free
I feel free (I feel free, I feel free, I feel free, I feel free)
Dave's Take
"The lyric is really about unconditional love, us all wanting that and wanting that for the world -- until it becomes conditional, and then of course it turns into hate, murder and violence. It's not necessarily inwards, not necessarily anything that's going on with me, but it's what I feel like is happening around me. There's all this bullshit going on, but it's just all this diversion. Don't really pay attention to whats going on, just make some more fakeness. We're supposed to all just bury our heads in our cell phones and pretend nothing's happening, and that's what happens with love if you don't pay attention. If you don't really take care of it and share it, it will go away."2
My Take
This song has a cool and dark overall feel to it and for the first three-quarters of it or so, it has a moderate dance beat whose atmosphere almost reminds me of Depeche Mode's "Lie to Me." Then, for the last quarter of it, it mellows out to something more cinematic and abstract, reminding me of Alan Wilder's Recoil work. This is also one of few songs that features Dave singing alongside a female singer; in this case it's Sharin Foo of The Raveonettes, but the blending of the two voices in the chorus sounds divine. The lyrics sound so romantic that they seem like they don't fit the dark synth backdrop but it's actually all part of the song's tension, better brought to light by the accompanying music video. Finally, I am somewhat mystified by what Kurt meant above by Dave being sick when he wrote the lyrics. I know he went public about his bout with cancer in 2009 so I'm not sure if something also happened to him in 2017...If anyone knows, feel free to drop me a line!
Music Video
The video depicts a murder scene where a young woman kills a young man whom appears to be her boyfriend and/or roommate. Various scenes show her and the guy in various situations that are extremely unsettling. In one scene, she is standing by an open refrigerator, looking angry and/or neglected as the guy watches TV. In other scenes, the two are seen fighting and struggling with one another as she tries to choke him and drown him. Interspersed among these scenes are Dave singing and Kurt Uenala shown on the TV screen that the couple are watching. The video closes with the guy shown dead on the floor, and the woman sits in the chair he previously occupied in front of the TV, her shirt stained with blood and broken bottles all over the floor.
My Take
The narration of this video does not do it any justice; you just have to watch it. The video can simply be summed up as a depiction of a murder, but it is the various cinematic elements and effects applied throughout that make it very interesting and emotive. The whole atmosphere really gives one a sense of dread and coldness. The couple's living quarters don't appear warm and cozy at all, with a very meager set of furniture placed in what looks like the basement of an industrial complex or something. The lighting is cold and shadowy, contributing to the overall eerie atmosphere. The scenes of the guy angrily throwing his beer bottle at the TV and the woman grabbing a handful of prescription pills, for instance, all give the viewer a sense that both of them are clearly struggling with emotional issues and are very dissatisfied with their relationship. Every now and then, a dimension of surrealism is thrown in when various scenes are artificially manipulated to give the couple's bodies a hollowed-out and shattered look; it's a graphic metaphor for showing just how broken and empty these people must be feeling emotionally. Overall, it is a very powerful video that serves as a perfect illustration of a relationship gone wrong.